Songs About Dicks: Ranked, Explained, Counted
From an 18th-century to TikTok, every song rated, explained, categorized, interpreted and counted, so you didn't have to.
75 songs · 6 languages · Facts checked 2026-10-05
The collections
All 75 Songs About Dicks, Ranked
RMD's ranking: all 75 songs about dicks, in six languages, scored on how much they are really about one, how far they reached and whether a normal person would know them.
The Most Explicit Songs About Dicks, by the Numbers
No editorial opinion, just counting. All 37 songs about dicks that say an explicit word for it, ranked by how many distinct ones they use, with repetition and per-minute density shown separately.
Dirty Blues Songs: The Original Songs About Dicks, 1935–1954
Before rock, before rap, before anyone needed to bleep anything, the blues was already singing about it. The hokum and rhythm and blues records where the double entendre was perfected: wieners, records, trombones and a dentist.
Songs That Are Secretly About a Dick
Lollipops, whistles, candy shops and kielbasa: all 38 double entendre songs on the list, none of which says the word, ranked by how completely the metaphor holds.
Funny Songs About Dicks: The Comedy Canon
Monty Python, The Lonely Island, Tenacious D, Spinal Tap, Flight of the Conchords and the comedians who wrote the funniest songs about dicks, ranked.
Analyze
75 songs · every numberEvery number behind the rankings. Turn a metric on to chart it across the decades, filter the list, and sort the table by anything.
Use the left and right arrow keys to read each era. The table below has every number.
Average per song| Dick in a Box The Lonely Island feat. Justin Timberlake | 2006 | 8.9 | 1 |
| Whistle Flo Rida | 2012 | 8.9 | 0 |
| Short Dick Man 20 Fingers feat. Gillette | 1994 | 8.7 | 1 |
| Candy Shop 50 Cent feat. Olivia | 2005 | 8.5 | 0 |
| Rude Boy Rihanna | 2010 | 8.4 | 0 |
| Le Zizi Pierre Perret | 1974 | 8.3 | 1 |
| Dick StarBoi3 feat. Doja Cat | 2021 | 8.2 | 2 |
| The Penis Song (Not the Noël Coward Song) Monty Python | 1983 | 8.2 | 8 |
| Detachable Penis King Missile | 1992 | 8.0 | 1 |
| Ex-Boyfriend Lil Dicky | 2013 | 8.0 | 3 |
Averages are per song. Scores are editorial and run 0–10; the counts come from the lyrics and are never added into a score.
On YouTube
- 1Mayores · Becky G feat. Bad Bunny+3.3M+0.1%
- 2Candy Shop · 50 Cent feat. Olivia+2.1M+0.2%
- 3Lollipop · Lil Wayne feat. Static Major+1.6M+0.2%
- 4Rude Boy · Rihanna+884k+0.1%
- 5Anaconda · Nicki Minaj+519k+0.0%
Likes per 1,000 views · songs with 50k+ views
Most explicit · top five
1The Penis Song (Not the Noël Coward Song)8 explicit words, 2× repeated, in 0:57
2Sucer la bite3 explicit words, 24× repeated, in 3:15
3Community Property3 explicit words, 6× repeated, in 3:37
4Ex-Boyfriend3 explicit words, sung once, in 4:27
5Cock Pushups2 explicit words, 9× repeated, in 0:48
By decade
Beyond English
French9 songs
Le Zizi — Pierre Perret, 1974
J'ai la quéquette qui colle — Les Mules, 1999
Tu veux mon zizi — Francky Vincent, 2009
Italian5 songs
Kobra — Donatella Rettore, 1980
Gelato al cioccolato — Pupo, 1979
John Holmes (una vita per il cinema) — Elio e le Storie Tese, 1989
Spanish and Portuguese8 songs
Mayores — Becky G feat. Bad Bunny, 2017
Una luna de miel en la mano — Virus, 1985
Lepo Lepo — Psirico, 2013
Thumbnails: cover art © the labels and artists, or a credited artist photo where a song has no cover; full credits are on each song page. Playlist tiles are our own artwork. Rights holders: email support@ratewithai.co and we will remove an image promptly.
There are two rankings because there are two honest ways to sort this. RMD's ranking weighs topicality against reach and recognition; the explicit list just counts, which produces a different winner and a different bottom. Around them sit the collections, the decades and the languages, from the dirty blues of the 1930's to Brazilian Carnival hits, and the methodology page shows every weight so you can argue with all of it, which people do.
How the scoring works
Two editorial components and one measured one, weighted and published, plus a word count that stays separate. If you think a song is misranked, the numbers are right there to disagree with.
Updated 2026-10-06
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