Songs About Dicks Before 1960: Tarantellas, Ukuleles and the Blues
The oldest song here is a Neapolitan tarantella about a girl and the "rooster" she rides all night, sung since the eighteenth century by people who knew exactly what a rooster was. Records only refined the method: the Comedian Harmonists sang about spring "asparagus" in 1930, George Formby about a "stick of rock" in 1937, and Bo Carter, Julia Lee and Dinah Washington took the blues further than anyone, on records sold under the counter, proof that your grandparents were more interesting than they let on.
- 1
Big Ten Inch Record
Bull Moose Jackson · 1952 · 2:15YouTubeA man boasts about his "big ten inch" for two minutes, adding "record" at the last possible second. Aerosmith repeated the trick in 1975.
- 2
Please Warm My Weiner
Bo Carter · 1935 · 3:00YouTubeRecorded in 1935. The blues did not wait for anyone's permission, and neither did the "wiener".
- 3
Big Long Slidin' Thing
Dinah Washington · 1954 · 2:59YouTubeOstensibly about a trombone. The Queen of the Blues knew precisely which "big long slidin' thing" she was singing about.
- 4
Long John Blues
Dinah Washington · 1949 · 3:12YouTubeA top-three R&B hit about a dentist named "Long John" and his "drill", reviewed by a deeply satisfied patient.
- 5
King Size Papa
Julia Lee and Her Boy Friends · 1948 · 2:40YouTubeNine weeks at number one on the 1948 R&B chart for a size boast whose jazz-giant writer would not put his name on it.
- 6
With My Little Stick of Blackpool Rock
George Formby · 1937 · 3:07YouTubeThe BBC banned it in 1937, which did not stop one of Britain's best-paid entertainers waving his "stick of rock" at the nation for years.
- 7
Veronika, der Lenz ist da
Comedian Harmonists · 1930 · 2:40YouTubeGermany's most beloved vocal group sang that spring had come and the "asparagus" was growing, and every German since has known which asparagus.
- 8
Cicerenella
Traditional (Naples) · 18th century · 3:30YouTubeAn eighteenth-century tarantella about a girl and the "rooster" she rides all night, sung across southern Italy by people who know what a rooster is.
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