Songs About Dicks of the 1990's
In the 1990's the subject went mainstream from two directions at once. Alternative radio played King Missile's Detachable Penis, a deadpan account of losing one at a party, and 20 Fingers' Short Dick Man went to number one in France and Italy while American radio played an edit called Short Short Man, which changed one word and no minds. R&B took the coded route, with Ginuwine offering himself as a "pony" and Next's Too Close finishing 1998 as Billboard's number-one single.
- 1
Short Dick Man
20 Fingers feat. Gillette · 1994 · 3:21YouTubeA 1994 dance hit that spends three minutes reviewing one man's dimensions, and the review is not good.
- 2
Detachable Penis
King Missile · 1992 · 3:23YouTubeThe definitional entry: a man loses his detachable penis at a party, retraces his steps, and buys it back for seventeen dollars.
- 3
Too Close
Next · 1998 · 4:18YouTubeAmerica's biggest single of 1998 is about an erection on a dancefloor, and radio played it for months before anyone checked.
- 4
J'ai la quéquette qui colle
Les Mules · 1999 · 2:40YouTubeTwo friends improvised it in a car on the way to a party; it became France's first viral song, then a ringtone, then a CD.
- 5
Pony
Ginuwine · 1996 · 5:25YouTubeTimbaland's first great beat is a croaking bass noise under a man offering himself as a "pony", saddle included and ride available.
- 6
Cock Pushups
Tenacious D · 1999 · 0:48A fitness routine you can only do once, explained by Jack Black with the total conviction of a personal trainer on commission.
- 7
Letter to My Penis
Rodney Carrington · 1998 · 2:02YouTubeA country comedian writes a letter of complaint to his penis. The penis writes back, and it has notes.
- 8
She Loves My Cock
Jackyl · 1992 · 3:52YouTubeA Georgia Kmart refused a Platinum album over this song, so the band played the car park. The "cock", they insist, is a rooster.
- 9
Put It in Your Mouth
Akinyele feat. Kia Jeffries · 1996 · 3:21YouTubeNever a hit, never on pop radio, and still going thirty years later on the strength of one instruction, issued politely.
- 10
Pau que Nasce Torto / Melô do Tchan
É o Tchan · 1995 · 3:55YouTubeThe medley that launched the biggest axé act of the 1990's rests on a crooked-stick proverb. In Brazil, "pau" is never just a stick.
- 11
Le Plastique c'est fantastique
Elmer Food Beat · 1990 · 3:22YouTubeFrance's unofficial condom anthem, from a band whose debut album was called 30 cm, which was also a joke, and also a boast.
- 12
Esporrei na Manivela
Raimundos · 1995 · 4:08YouTubeOn a Platinum album, Brazil's biggest hardcore band reports an accident with a crank handle, using the crudest verb Portuguese has.
- 13
Ti si mangiate la banana
Leone Di Lernia · 1994 · 4:27YouTubeA Barese dialect parody of a Eurodance hit in which somebody has eaten the "banana", and every Italian over thirty can tell you who.
- 14
LMS
Kool Savas · 1999 · 3:21YouTubeThree letters, one instruction, two bans: Germany's youth-protection board indexed it in 1999 and, twenty-five years later, renewed the paperwork.
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