Songs About Dicks of the 2000's
The 2000's were the decade of the "lollipop". 50 Cent's Candy Shop spent nine weeks at number one, Lil Wayne's Lollipop won a Grammy and Lady Gaga took a "disco stick" into the top five, while the explicit versions lived on mixtapes, ringtones and YouTube, the most permissive radio station ever built. The Lonely Island's Dick in a Box went from a Saturday Night Live sketch to an online phenomenon and an Emmy, and Rammstein sang the key line of Pussy in English, as a courtesy to export markets.
- 1
Dick in a Box
The Lonely Island feat. Justin Timberlake · 2006 · 2:38YouTubeAn Emmy-winning three-step gift-wrapping tutorial, and the only song on this list with a craft component.
- 2
Candy Shop
50 Cent feat. Olivia · 2005 · 3:29YouTubeNine weeks at number one for a trip to the "candy shop", where the only sweet on offer is 50 Cent.
- 3
My Dick
Mickey Avalon feat. Dirt Nasty & Andre Legacy · 2006 · 3:00YouTubeThree minutes of comparative anatomy, delivered as a series of brand endorsements for one product.
- 4
LoveGame
Lady Gaga · 2009 · 3:36YouTubeThe rare top-five hit whose writer explained the euphemism herself: the "disco stick" is a penis, and Lady Gaga said so on the record.
- 5
Lollipop
Lil Wayne feat. Static Major · 2008 · 4:59YouTubeA Grammy-winning number one whose central image is a "lollipop", for reasons that have nothing to do with confectionery.
- 6
Magic Stick
Lil' Kim feat. 50 Cent · 2003 · 6:00YouTubeA number-two hit built on one metaphor, a "magic stick", sustained for six minutes without a single coffee break.
- 7
Mein Teil
Rammstein · 2004 · 4:36YouTubeA Grammy-nominated single about the Rotenburg cannibal, whose title means "my part" and, in German slang, the part he ate.
- 8
Tu veux mon zizi
Francky Vincent · 2009 · 3:18YouTubeA 2004 album track nobody noticed became a number-six hit in 2009 once it was renamed after its chorus, which is an offer.
- 9
Community Property
Steel Panther · 2009 · 3:37YouTubeA power ballad in which his heart belongs to her and his "cock" is declared "community property", in the chorus, in those words.
- 10
Wait (The Whisper Song)
Ying Yang Twins · 2005 · 3:00YouTubeA top-twenty hit whispered throughout, in which the thing she is told to wait for is his dick, named in a library voice.
- 11
Kielbasa
Tenacious D · 2001 · 3:00YouTubeA Platinum album opens with a love song to a Polish sausage, sung with power-ballad gravity. The sausage is Jack Black's.
- 12
Pussy
Rammstein · 2009 · 3:59YouTubeRammstein's first German number one has an English chorus, so the whole world could understand exactly one line of it.
- 13
Sugalumps
Flight of the Conchords · 2009 · 2:12YouTubeTwo New Zealanders advertise their "sugalumps" in the style of the Black Eyed Peas, with the confidence of men selling a timeshare.
- 14
Mein schöner Hodensack
Die Kassierer · 2003 · 1:38YouTubeNinety-eight seconds of Bochum punks serenading a scrotum, from a band that has been doing this sort of thing since 1985.
- 15
Saint-Valentin
Orelsan · 2007 · 4:02YouTubeA MySpace-era track whose chorus turns Valentine's Day into a demand for oral sex, and which its author now refuses to perform.
- 16
La argentinidad al palo
Bersuit Vergarabat · 2004 · 5:29YouTubeA number-one album whose title says Argentina is at full erection, in an idiom the dictionary traces to exactly that.
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