Rock Songs About Dicks: Riffs, Rammstein and Double Meanings
Rock took the blues double entendre and turned the volume up. Led Zeppelin borrowed the "lemon" from Robert Johnson, AC/DC gave Bon Scott an aristocrat's voice for Big Balls, and KISS put two phallic songs by two different writers on one 1977 album, so that nobody in the band had to share. Metal and punk dropped the pretence: Rammstein's Pussy became the band's first number one in Germany, and Jackyl played a Kmart car park after the store refused their album, in defence of a "rooster".
- 1
Detachable Penis
King Missile · 1992 · 3:23YouTubeThe definitional entry: a man loses his detachable penis at a party, retraces his steps, and buys it back for seventeen dollars.
- 2
My Ding-a-Ling
Chuck Berry · 1972 · 4:17YouTubeThe only US number one of Chuck Berry's career, and it is a sing-along about his "ding-a-ling".
- 3
Mein Teil
Rammstein · 2004 · 4:36YouTubeA Grammy-nominated single about the Rotenburg cannibal, whose title means "my part" and, in German slang, the part he ate.
- 4
Love Gun
KISS · 1977 · 3:17YouTubePaul Stanley wrote a song about his "love gun" and sang it with the straight face of a man reading out a weather report.
- 5
Tube Snake Boogie
ZZ Top · 1981 · 3:04YouTubeBilly Gibbons says a "tube snake" is a surfboard, then adds that it is first cousin to a "tube steak", which is not a surfboard.
- 6
She Loves My Cock
Jackyl · 1992 · 3:52YouTubeA Georgia Kmart refused a Platinum album over this song, so the band played the car park. The "cock", they insist, is a rooster.
- 7
Pussy
Rammstein · 2009 · 3:59YouTubeRammstein's first German number one has an English chorus, so the whole world could understand exactly one line of it.
- 8
Plaster Caster
KISS · 1977 · 3:27YouTubeGene Simmons wrote a song volunteering for the woman who made plaster casts of rock stars' penises. She never cast his.
- 9
Le Plastique c'est fantastique
Elmer Food Beat · 1990 · 3:22YouTubeFrance's unofficial condom anthem, from a band whose debut album was called 30 cm, which was also a joke, and also a boast.
- 10
Big Balls
AC/DC · 1976 · 2:38YouTubeBon Scott, in an aristocrat's voice, hosts the most sustained double meaning in hard rock: the finest "balls" in high society.
- 11
Kissing Willie
Jethro Tull · 1989 · 3:33YouTubeIan Anderson wrote a Benny Hill spoof for his prog band, took it to number six on US rock radio and waved carrots, for clarity.
- 12
Esporrei na Manivela
Raimundos · 1995 · 4:08YouTubeOn a Platinum album, Brazil's biggest hardcore band reports an accident with a crank handle, using the crudest verb Portuguese has.
- 13
Me pica un huevo
Siniestro Total · 1983 · 1:45YouTubeA minute and forty-five seconds about an itchy testicle, from the band that taught Spanish rock to be funny.
- 14
The Lemon Song
Led Zeppelin · 1969 · 6:19YouTubeA "lemon" that ran from Robert Johnson in 1937 to Led Zeppelin II in 1969, and the juice is still running.
- 15
The Stroke
Billy Squier · 1981 · 3:38YouTubeBilly Squier says it is about the record business. He has said so for forty years. Nobody in the arena has believed him once.
- 16
Slide It In
Whitesnake · 1984 · 3:21YouTubeDavid Coverdale has called the title anatomically conversant and clarified, when pressed, that it is not about bananas. The chorus is one instruction.
- 17
Mein schöner Hodensack
Die Kassierer · 2003 · 1:38YouTubeNinety-eight seconds of Bochum punks serenading a scrotum, from a band that has been doing this sort of thing since 1985.
- 18
La argentinidad al palo
Bersuit Vergarabat · 2004 · 5:29YouTubeA number-one album whose title says Argentina is at full erection, in an idiom the dictionary traces to exactly that.
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Asked
- What rock songs are about dicks?
- On this ranking Detachable Penis by King Missile comes first; Big Balls, The Lemon Song, Love Gun, Slide It In and Tube Snake Boogie are the best known.
- Is Big Balls about testicles?
- In every line. Bon Scott plays an aristocrat who throws the finest balls in high society, and the double meaning never breaks.
- Which Rammstein song went to number one in Germany?
- Pussy (2009), the band's first number one in Germany. Its video was age-restricted, and the explicit shots used body doubles.