French Songs About Dicks: From Brassens to Lorenzo
France has a name for the tradition, chanson paillarde, and some of its most respected songwriters wrote in it: Georges Brassens built Fernande on a refrain about which women give him an erection, and Pierre Perret wrote Le Zizi as a sex-education lesson that never needs the adult word. The modern entries are blunter, from Orelsan and Lorenzo to Les Mules, a viral hit before France had a word for viral. Every one is explained here in English, with nothing your colleagues should overhear.
- 1
Le Zizi
Pierre Perret · 1974 · 3:57YouTubeEvery French radio station refused it until one didn't, and half a million people bought a sex-ed lesson on the penis with no crude word.
- 2
J'ai la quéquette qui colle
Les Mules · 1999 · 2:40YouTubeTwo friends improvised it in a car on the way to a party; it became France's first viral song, then a ringtone, then a CD.
- 3
Tu veux mon zizi
Francky Vincent · 2009 · 3:18YouTubeA 2004 album track nobody noticed became a number-six hit in 2009 once it was renamed after its chorus, which is an offer.
- 4
Fernande
Georges Brassens · 1972 · 3:41YouTubeOne of France's great songwriters wrote a refrain about which women give him an erection, and the nation filed it under poetry.
- 5
Sucer la bite
Lorenzo · 2018 · 3:15Track eleven of a number-one album is a chorus with one idea, and the idea is in the title, in full.
- 6
Les Sucettes
France Gall · 1966 · 2:34YouTubeSerge Gainsbourg wrote a song about aniseed "lollipops" for an eighteen-year-old, who found out what it meant from everyone but him.
- 7
Le Plastique c'est fantastique
Elmer Food Beat · 1990 · 3:22YouTubeFrance's unofficial condom anthem, from a band whose debut album was called 30 cm, which was also a joke, and also a boast.
- 8
Le Banana Split
Lio · 1979 · 2:34YouTubeA French number one about a dessert served by the Abominable Snowman to a sixteen-year-old, who has since said what she thinks of it.
- 9
Saint-Valentin
Orelsan · 2007 · 4:02YouTubeA MySpace-era track whose chorus turns Valentine's Day into a demand for oral sex, and which its author now refuses to perform.
Thumbnails: cover art © the labels and artists, or a credited artist photo where a song has no cover; full credits are on each song page. Playlist tiles are our own artwork. Rights holders: email support@ratewithai.co and we will remove an image promptly.