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The Penis Song (Not the Noël Coward Song) by Monty Python (1983)

Monty Python's The Meaning of Life · 0:57

Sixty seconds, eight different words for it, and a dinner jacket. The densest track on the list by a mile.

Penis Song (official lyric video art) — Monty Python, cover art
Scene · 0:56
Scene · Monty Python · via YouTube · poster: cover art, Penis Song (official lyric video art) (1983) · Monty Python (official channel) · via YouTube · title art from the official lyric video · Watch on YouTube ↗
Monty Python, photo
Photo · Monty Python · Distributed by Arista Records (Q664167) · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons
1 / 2 · Video

Our ranking

#7of 75
Most about a dick
8
Explicit words · distinct
Repetitions, density and the innuendo countAll the numbers ↓
The internet's verdict

Is it any good?

Anonymous. One vote per song, and you see the result after you vote.

What the title means

A cabaret song about the penis, performed in the manner of Noël Coward, as the subtitle warns. The words are the synonyms, all eight of them, delivered with immaculate diction.

What the song is actually about

Eric Idle sits at a grand piano in a dinner jacket, in a scene from The Meaning of Life, and performs a jaunty music-hall number that lists synonyms. That is the entire premise. "Willy", "John Thomas" and a handful of others get their turn, and the song ends before it has had time to become anything other than a list. It is the shortest entry here and packs more distinct words for the organ into one minute than most songs manage in five, a vocabulary lesson no school would book.

The subtitle is the second joke. Noël Coward wrote sophisticated, sly, perfectly enunciated songs about love and society; Idle borrows the tuxedo, the piano and the diction and uses them to sing about a penis. The gap between the delivery and the content is where the comedy lives, and it is a very Python move: they did the same thing with philosophers and with lumberjacks.

Its afterlife is a jury. The Meaning of Life won the Grand Prix Spécial du Jury at Cannes in 1983, which means one of the most serious film festivals in the world sat through this, in formal wear, and gave the film a prize. Nobody searches for it by its full title; people search for the Monty Python penis song, which is why a sixty-second film interlude outranks most singles on recognition.

The line

“Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis”

Where it ranks, and why

Composite read
91PCTLRank
8.2COMPOSITE · /10◇ #7 of 75
99PCTLExplicit words
Most explicit · #1 of 37DocumentedSays the word
Highest readsagainst all 75
Explicit words899th
Words per minute8.499th
Score8.291st
Lowest readsagainst all 75
Innuendo05th
Repetitions28th
Like rate7.545th
Score8.291st
Topicality1090th
Recognition771st
Reach4.549th
YouTube views2.3M47th
Like rate7.545th
Explicit words899th
Repetitions28th
Innuendo05th
Words per minute8.499th
Length0:572nd
Percentile against all 75 songs · the shaded band is the middle half · judged scores are editorial, counts never enter a score

On RMD's list it sits at #7 of 75 with a composite of 8.2 — topicality 10 (×0.6), reach 4.5 (×0.25, log-scaled) and recognition 7 (×0.15). On the explicit list it is #1 of 37, on 8 distinct explicit words at 8.4 per minute, with the main hook repeated 2×. The innuendo figure (0) is editorial and never enters either number. Read the methodology →

Lyrics ↗We don't host lyrics — we explain them.Facts checked 2026-10-05

Asked

What film is the Monty Python Penis Song from?
The Meaning of Life (1983), performed by Eric Idle at a grand piano.
Why is it called Not the Noël Coward Song?
Because it is performed in Noël Coward's cabaret style, and the subtitle makes sure the imitation is understood as a joke.
How many words for it are in the song?
Eight distinct ones, by our count, in about a minute.
How do we know it's about a dick?
Documented. The lyric is a list of the words; the film and its Cannes prize are on Wikipedia.en.wikipedia.org ↗

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